October 2009 Archive

Abusive Relationships in today’s world

Abusive relationships are in many ways the scourge of the modern society. They’ve never exactly been a cause celebe, but in reality probably should be since no one is one hundred percent free from the potential of being a victim in abusive relationships. And those victims can see their lives drastically altered, or indeed totally shatterd, as a repercussion of the sorrows they suffer at the hands of their abuser.

The key to avoid that fate, then is to figure out if your relationship is one of the tens of thousands of abusive relationships many suffer from today. Does your spouse or partner put you down? Does he or she control your actions, prevent you from seeing friends or family, needlessly dump all household responsibilites on you, or harm you physically? If any of these are true, then you probably are in an absusive relationship.

And yes, being “put down” does constitute abuse. When the term “abusive relationships” comes up, most people think of a raging alcoholic husband beating a smaller, cowed wife with a belt or whatever comes handy. It’s a striking picture, and one that’s not altogether uncommon, but it isn’t the only type of abuse out there. Words hurt, you see, and can leave a lasting mark that’s not on the surface. A husband or wife, or boyfriend or girlfriend who constantly puts their significant other down is abusing them They’re taking away a part of their self-confidence, restricting their happiness and trying to make the abused dependent upon compliments and the good will of the abuser in order to gain any kind of self esteem. Psychologists have for years considered these all classic symptoms of abuse, and encourage anyone in a relationship that has these characteristics to get out and get help as quickly as is possible.

A Stanford University Abuse Prevention and Support guide puts it this way:

Relationship Abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, psychological, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try to control her/him.

It goes on to reassure you that, if you are being abused, it is not your fault! You must remember that, and do what you can to free yourself of this pattern of violence – be it physical or otherwise.

Learning English

If you are a writer, you are definitely aware that correct grammar is one of the important elements that make one an excellent writer. If you are a web content writer, then you will realize that even when an article is truly informative and educational, good and correct grammar will make the article sell even more. A good English writer knows that having good English skills in both writing and speaking is the selling point. You probably have come across a good article online. Upon reading it, you realized that it contained a lot of grammatical errors and a lot of inconsistencies. No matter, how good that article was, you likely were turned off by it. This is because, correct grammar and spelling allow other readers to not only enjoy what they are reading, but also respect your work.

Correct grammar also adds dignity to the material. A reader will value a piece of material that keeps him focused on the message rather than one where his attention is distracted by the errors in the article. You have probably noticed this when talking to a person who is not fluent in English. The person may be trying to put across a very important argument or fact, but his pronunciation or mispronunciation of words will usually detract from what he is trying to tell the audience. In the same way, an article that does not use correct grammar and spelling will have a detracting effect on the audience. However, unlike pronunciation, where the speaker may not be aware if he or she has a problem, writing is pretty obvious to both the writer and the reader that something is wrong.

To improve in grammar, it is important to read extensively. Reading helps one to understand the use of different words based on their context. It also helps one to understand the relationships that exist between words. Organizing points logically can also greatly help in having your material maintain consistency. If you are consistent and your article flows, then you will also find that correct grammar comes in naturally. When reading, make a concerted effort to build up your vocabulary by looking up in the dictionary unfamiliar words, their meaning and how they are used. Use them in your every day speech and possibly their synonyms. In time, you will find that correct grammar will come naturally. You will also feel the satisfaction when you see people read what you have written and benefit.

The Reason behind the declining need for Adoption

Adoption in contemporary American society serves to fulfill several purposes. For one, it provides the infants with parents in case of death of the biological parents or when parental rights of the biological parents have been terminated. Adoption for foster parents who are unable to conceive due to fertility difficulties also get to bring children into their families through adoption from an adoption agency. Adoption also provides for a legal relationship between a child and his or her foster parent. While all these are benefits of adoption from either the parent or the child

Prior to a year ago, I never had much of a love life to speak of. Sure, I had dates here and there, and occasionally got involved in relationships, but those never lasted longer than a few months. It’s not that I wasn’t looking for long-term commitment. I was. It’s just that I couldn’t seem to find the right person — until a year ago when I decided to try one of those online matchmaking dating services for the first time.

Before signing up for matchmaking dating services, I used to rely on the bar scene, friends, or regular singles websites to meet people. The bar scene got old pretty quick, as it was far too expensive to pay for cover charges and drinks all night long in the hopes of getting a few phone numbers. Plus, the quality of people I was meeting… well, let’s just say that very few were my type. And as well meaning as my friends were, I didn’t have any luck with the fix-ups I agreed to. Most turned out to be awkward and uncomfortable, with the mutual friend as the only common interest my date and I shared.

I fared a bit better with singles websites, but have since learned that they can’t hold a candle to matchmaking dating services. Why? Because unlike typical singles sites, matchmaking dating services don’t just put your profile out there for other members to see and respond to. Instead expert matchmakers work to find commonalities among different profiles to narrow down your search for the perfect mate. In other words, you don’t have to weed through thousands of profiles yourself or hope and pray that someone notices your profile. The matchmakers will do all the work to identify the most compatible singles in their databases, leaving you free to review a more manageable list of profiles.

I have to say that I am extremely pleased with the matchmaking dating services I’ve used. Not only did I stop wasting my time on people who didn’t have anything in common with me, but I’ve also had more fun dates than I ever did using a typical singles site. Not all of the potential matches turned out to be home runs, of course, but I’m actually still on friendly terms with a couple of past dates. We just have such similar likes that a casual friendship seemed like a natural alternative when we realized the romantic chemistry wasn’t there. And I’m happy to report that I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past four months with someone I met through one of these matchmaking dating services!

If you’re not getting anywhere in your search for the perfect partner, I recommend using matchmaking dating services instead of traditional singles websites. They cost a bit more, but are worth every penny!

While syndicated columnists have made a career out of giving advice on love relationships, it’s the very last topic you want to get involved in with an adult friend. You’ve probably known, from an early age, that politics and religion are best left out of ordinary social conversations. When you decide to give your advice on love to your BFF, you’d have been far better off having a knock-down drag-out on politics. At least you won’t be blamed for the politician’s actions! Women are much more vulnerable to a friend’s desperate cry for help on what to do about their current love relationship. Women like to be caring, helpful and supportive, which easily leads to the syndicated columnist syndrome, a friendship pitfall like no other.

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